I’ve never felt fear like this. This isn’t the fear that starts like butterflies in the stomach, creating waves and ripples of nervousness that slowly fade away. It’s an icy, chilling fear that cuts deep into the skin, while piercing the heart and freezing away any warmth with stone cold silence. This is the fear I feel now.

But I can’t be scared, for I have to be brave. Brave like a lion protecting her cub, because my baby’s soft body lies gently in my hands.

Gunshots still pierce the once empty, vibrant air of the sparkling hotel. Footsteps conquer the stairs from below. There is yelling and screaming, and lost voices.

Janissa wakes up. My baby begins to cry. It starts as a low murmur, but the screams and wails turn into trembling waves, and I can imagine them flooding past the walls of the hotel room to the terrorists, begging them to come up here.

“Shh. Shh you have to be quiet my love. You can’t cry now.”

It feels like I’m shouting, but soft words, delicate sounds, fragile whispers are the only things bouncing off the tip of my tongue.

The TV is still on. I turn the volume to the lowest setting.

“At 8:37 a group of terrorists entered the Regal Hotel. They have army grade weapons. Police and military are on the way but we don’t know how long they’ll be.”

They show giant, mystifying orange flames that lick the hotel’s bricks. Behind the veil of smoke I can see crumbling pillars covering limp bodies. I put my hand over my baby’s eyes, as I internally scream,

HOW IS THIS REAL? WHY, WHY, WHY?!

My thoughts vanish like smoke that is smothered, as a low, trembling roar makes its way up. The lights flicker, the ground shakes with a ferocious grace.

They triggered a bomb.

I feel powerless, so I crawl into the closet with Janissa in my hands. All I can do is hold her tight and pray.


Knock, Knock, Knock.

My eyes adjust to the flickering lights.

I must have fallen asleep.

“Open up, it's the police.”

Surely they’d have a key...

An icy cold, chilling fear surrounds me and I cannot move, or make a sound.

They have me. This is the end...

As I hear a gunshot pierce the door handle, I give Janissa one last kiss. I imagine my world fading into nothing, but rays of warm light flood into the closet. A man in a police suit enters, and when he whispers,

“You’re safe now.”

All those fears fade away.